Alright, listen up, Finn, you walking contradiction, you keep spouting promises like they’re confetti at a parade but when the time comes to actually do something, you’re MIA like a ghost at a haunted house, it’s honestly comical how you swear you’re gonna better yourself when in reality you’re just stuck on repeat like a broken record, dragging our friendship down like an anchor on a sinking ship, and the way you think you’re so slick with all those half-baked lies is hilarious, like you really believe you’re some kind of mastermind when you can’t even mastermind your own life, and now you’ve got the audacity to try and claim some new dude like you’re a social butterfly when just last week you were whining about how much you hate people, maybe try being honest for once instead of flipping your personality like a pancake, because I’m reaching my limit with you and your pathetic attempts to latch on to someone who actually shows you a little attention while leaving the rest of us in the dust, honestly, if your life was a movie, it’d be a straight-to-DVD flop because you can’t even follow through on that, so do us all a favor and stop pretending you’re the main character when you’re really just a background extra in your own drama, get it together, Finn.